Trigger warning: Suicide

After a glimpse with international fame as perhaps one the young biggest global pop stars to emerge from the Philippines, the Filipino pop singer Jake Zyrus, formerly known as Charice Pempengco, shared about his journey in the latest vlog of Toni Gonzaga.

During the interview, Jake shared how he got depressed and committed suicide as he was afraid of coming out.

“I tried to kill myself a few times.” Jake said. “I think I was 18, 19?” He answered when Toni asked him how old was he when he tried to kill himself.

He also explained how afraid and pressured he was to come out knowing it’s going to be the end of his career.

“Nasa isip ko pag nag come-out ako, it's over... Yung nasa isip ko that time was other people... The fear of acceptance — I didn't wanna disappoint them. I didn't wanna disappoint David [Foster] I didn't wanna disappoint Oprah, my Mother,” Zyrus shared.

"The first two times I tried it, I remembered waking up the hospital being upset. And I asked God, why?" Jake said.

Jake also shared that David was one of the few people who knew of his gender identity. He also recalled his last suicide attempt was during the same day of his performance with Foster. Zyrus said that when he woke up in the hospital, the American composer was there and asked him if he can perform.

"He was the first person I saw there and he was like, "are you okay? Do you think you can perform? You don't have to.”

 He also shared how supportive David was to him.

"I remember just a small gesture from him, telling me, "You know what, you don't have to wear dress or something."

On that night, Jake decided to wear pants, and a pair of sneakers, instead of dress. Something that was so “comfortable for the first time” according to Jake

"That was the first time they let me wear something like that."

The international pop sensation also called out people to radiate kindness to everyone.

"We all have different religions, beliefs, opinions in our lives. But sa akin, if you don't understand me, then maybe just be kind to me."

Watch the vlog here: