It’s easy to tell people that it’s okay to let out their feelings when they’re not okay. But opening up is not something that happens in a single step. It’s a long process, actually—because the habit of bottling up emotions is itself a long-standing practice rooted in various deep reasons: culture or family norms, a history of being ignored, having feelings invalidated, fear of showing vulnerability, childhood trauma, and many more. 

Because it is a deeply ingrained practice, undoing it takes time and several steps. 

And because of these reasons, people fall into different unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some people would rather shrug off their emotions. Some will sleep with their worries. Some will push aside their problems to prioritize other matters. And some will keep themselves busy just to occupy their minds. 

Yet, while suppressing emotions is an easy and convenient thing for people as they’re accustomed to this kind of coping, leaving them unresolved may result in long-term costs.

Keeping everything bottled up may eventually trigger mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and stress. Also, it may manifest physically through symptoms like nausea, digestive problems, appetite changes, fatigue, and sleep problems (Healthline, 2024).

So, what must we do?

We should consistently be there for people when they’re going through a difficult time so they know they aren’t alone. Like:

“Nandito lang ako.”

“Tara, kape.” 

“Samahan kita.

And then, remind people that their feelings are valid through words such: 

“Gets kita.” 

“Yes, valid.” 

“Okay lang, anak.”

Normalizing vulnerability in terms of mental health takes a collective effort. We need friends, family, advocates, doctors, and even the government to help build a supportive environment. When advocates and loved ones constantly echo that “it’s okay not to be okay,” it builds a safe space where people can vent without worries. Moreover, governments and healthcare institutions should also push for more accessible mental health care so that getting help isn't just a privilege for the few and can expand safe places for everyone.

Because when some people have spent a long time bottling things up, opening up doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time for them to finally feel safe, to trust that they won’t be judged, and to find the words for emotions they’ve kept hidden for days, months, or years.

Healing is indeed a long process. 

People need time and a safe space to slowly open up and let out the emotions they’ve been keeping inside. Removing their bottle lid isn’t an easy thing to do. It takes genuine safety, patience, trust, and steady support. 

So, always be there for them, create safe places, validate them, and support them as they cope, adjust, and heal.