One of the toxic Filipino cultures is the “utang na loob” mindset of some parents, where they treat their children as retirement plans or investments. For them, it's an obligation that a child must fulfill in return for the sacrifices the parents made. It is deeply ingrained in the culture thus many children find themselves continually falling into this trap, often giving until they have nothing left. 

Now here I am, another Filipino child that is bound by the same cultural expectation, feeling obligated to repay every favor and sacrifice, often at the expense of my own dreams and freedom.

However, in the past few days, I’ve noticed that it’s not just ordinary Filipino kids like myself who experience this; even someone like Carlos Yulo, a two-time Olympic gold medalist, also carries such pressure. 

Social media has been ecstatic about Carlos Yulo’s historical win at the 2024 Paris Olympics. Bagging 2 two gold medals, his success has definitely brought pride and honor to the Philippine nation and highlighted his exceptional talent and dedication to gymnastics. However, alongside this celebration, a deeply personal issue has emerged involving Carlos and his mother. Sparking a heated debate and discussion about the ultimate Filipino culture “utang na loob” mindset. 

“Si bro ay ginawang retirement plan ang anak” a netizen commented on the said issue. 

Some are saying that he should forgive her because she’s still his mother. 

As a child, I do not agree that we should have “utang na loob” towards our parents because, first and foremost, it’s their responsibility to raise us, feed us, clothe us, and educate us. It is our choice whether we want to help our parents in the future and reciprocate their sacrifices without feeling forced to do so. 

While I won't delve into the “chismis” details, it’s clear that the pressures of this cultural expectation extend even to those who have achieved extraordinary success. 

So what about us—the ones just starting out, with neither the means to repay these perceived debts nor the capacity to meet these expectations? The discussion around figures like Carlos Yulo highlights the need for a more balanced approach, where familial support is valued, but not at the cost of autonomy and personal growth.