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How to ask someone if they’re okay without invalidating them?
By Genesis Amor 11 Oct 2022 601

Emotional validation is the acceptance of a person’s feelings, thoughts, and emotional experiences. 

Emotional invalidation, then, is when a person’s thoughts, feelings, and emotional experiences were belittled, rejected, judged and ignored. 

 

Some people say, 

“ para ayun lang” 

“ ako nga eh napagdaanan ko naman yan pero nalagpasan ko” 

“ ang babaw mo naman” 

“ ang OA mo naman” 

“ ang sensitive mo naman” 

 

Instead of showing care and concern to the person who is experiencing emotional stress, you tend to invalidate their feelings that often lead to thinking that they are worthless and that their feelings don't matter. 

In some cases, invalidating someone’s emotion can lead to other negative emotions and the worst thing is that it could lead to some mental health conditions. 

Anyone can experience invalidation at any age, and it can be unpleasant and painful whether you're a child or an adult.

Here are a few special considerations or ways to help people feel comfortable, worthy and accepted and to avoid invalidating their feelings when they are sharing their emotions according to Mental Health A-Z. 

  • Consider your body language: Maintain an open, relaxed posture. Avoid making rejection-suggesting body gestures, like crossing your arms or avoiding eye contact, by turning to the other person.
  • Express empathy: Show that you care about the fact that the other is experiencing the emotion, even if you don't understand it.
  • Ask questions: To get more information and understand what was said, ask additional questions. You can tell you're listening and making an effort to comprehend by doing this.
  • Avoid blaming: Be sure to lend your support. Don't lay blame to the person or to other factors.

A person who is validated knows that their feelings are respected. It provides room for another person's feelings to exist. 

Through validation, we can speak for the reality of, value for, and significance of other people's emotional experiences.

If you need help, support and concern with your  mental health, kindly contact these following hotlines or chat services. 

 

  • National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotlines – 1553 (nationwide and toll-free landline), 0966-351-4518 (Globe/TM), 0917-899-8727 (Globe/TM), or 0908-639-2672 (Smart/Sun/TNT).
  • Kapwa MH – [chat] Menu-based chatbot by MentalHealthPH on Twitter. https://twitter.com/kapwamh
  • Lunas Collective – [chat] Feminist, inclusive volunteer-powered chat service, rooted in providing a safe and comfortable online space on issues related to gender-based violence and reproductive health. https://www.facebook.com/LunasCollective/
  • Manila Lifeline Centre –  Manila Lifeline Centre (MLC) is a tele-counseling hotline that focuses on suicide prevention, awareness, and support. Landline: (02) 896-9191,Globe: 0917-854-9191

 

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